Tacky?

[someone]

The way I was raised, I find this incredibly tacky and am thankful that I won't be there. My husband's cousin is getting married. He doesn't like her because she's always been a snob obsessed with marrying for money--not even kidding.

So I just got an envelope about her shower/bachelorette party next month. At 2pm in city A is her bridal shower and included was her registry (big no no in my family). At 5 pm at a different location in city A is a lingerie party with her measurements. At 7 pm, 45 miles away in city B (now that I think about it, I guess the lingerie party would only be like an hour long) they're meeting up for dinner.


I guess my biggest shock is that she's having 3 parties within one afternoon/evening. I was also taught to never tell people where to shop. The guests would either figure it out, ask around, or buy whatever they pleased/send money. But wow, 3 parties within hours of each other plus dinner, that's a lot of money!

[skooch]

a registry slip isnt a huge deal nowadays so i wouldnt think that is tacky but the rest of it is just ostentatious.

[meaniepants]

I've never been an adult guest at a wedding. I'm kinda glad about that. lol

[someone]

So my husband has never liked this cousin and I was kind of shocked about the invites, so I decided to check out her registries to get a feel for what she asked for, aka make fun of her. Yeah I know it's bad, whatever. Keep in mind that she's 30 years old, has lived with her fiance for 2+ years, has a 2 year old with him, she already has an established house.

I was surprised that there weren't actually too many items on her lists, most of my friends have had much longer lists. I totaled everything up (although there were maybe a dozen items without prices, in-store only) and it was nearly $6k! I know people don't usually get everything on their list but the items were so interesting and most were expensive. $400 vacuum, $300 pots and pans, $200 coffee maker, $350 comforter (not sheets, she wanted 3 sets at $120 each). The majority of the gifts were over $100. Then she had some strange things like a garden hose sprayer, 8 rubbermaid storage tubs, 16 pillows.

She's from podunk Kansas. I don't know about his family but her family definitely can't afford the things on her list. They could buy the kcups and storage containers, but not much more. I'm always shocked when people ask for so many expensive gifts. We'll send a gift card and be done with it.



We're kind of torn. Before setting her date, my husband applied for and paid to walk at graduation which is in late May. Her wedding is early May. His graduation is in Kansas City, approx 3 hours from home. But now we'll probably skip both because he doesn't want to spend $1000 or so to go back for her wedding while missing his graduation that he already paid for and if he goes for the graduation things would could hostile. Then his mom decides she wants to have both an open house and a house warming party for the house they're in the middle of buying, she also wants to do a family reunion. She wants husband there for all 3 but she refuses to do them the same week, "too much work." She also won't do it near the wedding but wants to do it in May and kind of expects him to be there. We'd have to be there the entire month to accomplish everything. We'll probably say fuck it and stay home for everything. We're going to get yelled at no matter what we do but even more so if we go to one thing and not the others.

[blubberiffic]

I don't think any of the wedding shit is to tacky. Seems like a convenience thing, do it all in one day rather than making people come out for seperate functions.

His mother sounds like the absorbent layer of a second hand cuntrag!

Now that I think about it, that chic is tacky. If you already got knocked up and played house you shouldn't have a wedding with all the traditional fixings. He got the milk and it curddled into cottage cheese fore he bought that cow. You should give her some udder cream! Lol

[Cankles]

We were going to do my sisters Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party the same day to save people a second trip into town basically, especially since her best friend is getting married 2 months later and almost all their friends are mutual.

[susie]

Tacky.

I hate getting wedding invitations with registry info in it.

[Deb]

It was a shower invitation with the registry information in it.

[someone]

I will fully own that I'm being super judgemental, especially because of relationship with her. I think if it was a shower and dinner it probably wouldn't have surprised me as much. But to throw an hour in between to also give her lingerie is so strange. The lingerie and dinner was hosted "by the bridesmaids" and it just seams like that should be reserved for close friends, her and I aren't close at all. I see her like once every 2 years and even when I lived there I saw her only at an occasional family event.

Blubbers-your udder cream comment was hilarious!

Registry info was printed on the invite but I think it was printed on the wedding invite too. My mom hammered it in my brain going up that It's incredibly tacky, but I probably only mentioned it because I was looking for anything to criticizethat I can. So childish but I can't stop.

[someone]

Funny story, 1 Christmas her mom asked when we are having kids while whining that she will never be a grandma because her then 27 year old daughter was too old to have kids. I simply stated there were complications we were working with. She tells me I have so long, stop rushing it (in a nasty tone) then keeps going on about her never bring a grandma. Her daughter was pregnant during this time, 2-3 months. So January comes and the mom sends everybody a long nasty email about her daughter being pregnant and we WILL NOT JUDGE THIS WONDERFUL MIRACLE. I wish I had saved the email, she went on and on about how we weren't allowed to think negatively of her and this is a blessing, etc. Husband said she sent it because in the past the mom was the first and usually only person to turn up her nose and talk negatively about unwed pregnancies. Nobody else WOULD have said anything but they sure did talk about that email!

Thus coming from the same woman who brought a gift for a Christmas exchange that I ended up with our first Christmas-we'd only been married 2 days. Nearly a year later she sent me an email trying to buy it back! I didn't know how to respond so I never did. I asked my MIL what to do and she was mortified and told everybody else. Needless to say, I'm do happy we don't live close, there is always drama going down with his extended family.

[susie]

Feb 5, 2012 22:03:01 GMT -5 Deb said:

It was a shower invitation with the registry information in it.

Yeah, I know. I read the post. Still tacky. I was going off on a tangent about the wedding invitations. Most of the time, if the shower invite has the registry info, so does the wedding invitation. In my experience anyway.

[gardenwitch]

You don't live there, all that invite is really for is to get money/gifts from you.

Why on earth would they expect a MARINE to be able to come home for all their crap just because THEY want him too? Seriously, she expects him there for parties because she bought a house?

I'd just skip all the family BS, do his graduation (get a hotel or something so they don't know you are coming out there) and go on with my life.

[Maureen]

The registry with the shower invite doesn't bother me. I like it becauswe then I get an idea of what they like. Otherwise, theyde be getting a visa gift card from me. I'm not a good gift giver. I put forth too much effort to make them really meaningful and half the tme the receipiant doesn't "get" it.

[Jodi]

I think registry info with a shower invite is perfectly acceptable in a NORMAL situation. I think his family is trying to take advantage.

I would not skip his graduation. Skip all the bs. He earned the right to walk at his graduation. Don't let anyone take that from him.

[gardenwitch]

Dh's cousin actually put it out on her facebook page to only expect an invitation if you were "coming to the wedding for sure".

I was under the impression that the invites were sent out FIRST and you did your numbers from the RSVP's??? She wanted to know you were coming BEFORE she even sent you the invite!!

AND, also on Facebook... "if you aren't coming, here's the links to our registry's so you can hook us up"......

I did not hook them up.