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Post by mermaid on Sept 14, 2011 11:21:12 GMT -5
If your best friend came to you & told you she was unhappy & wanted to file for divorce after the holidays, what would you do? Nothing actually wrong in the marriage like abuse, etc - just indifference. And the husband is also a really good friend? Would you go to the husband and at least say "Hey, she's REALLY unhappy. Please work on your marriage before you guys lose it all?" Or would you totally stay quiet and watch a family fall apart?
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Post by lm on Sept 14, 2011 11:24:23 GMT -5
Stay quiet. If she wanted to work on the marriage, she would suggest it to him herself IMO.
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Post by allthatglitters on Sept 14, 2011 11:25:04 GMT -5
If she came to me in confidence I wouldn't say anything to him. But if it was just conversation I would tell him.
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Post by mermaid on Sept 14, 2011 11:25:46 GMT -5
She has. He has. But neither have ever taken that initiative. He thinks it's all "fine" and will be blindsided.
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Post by lilpunkprincess on Sept 14, 2011 11:27:05 GMT -5
Honestly I don't think I would say anything. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors and saying something could make it worse on both of them. It could cause more arguments or even lack of trust on your part. And in the end there going to need you.
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Post by Jodi on Sept 14, 2011 11:28:28 GMT -5
idk. That is a tough one.
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Post by mermaid on Sept 14, 2011 11:28:50 GMT -5
They've been together 26 years. I really hate this.
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Post by lilpunkprincess on Sept 14, 2011 11:30:36 GMT -5
They've been together 26 years. I really hate this. I am so sorry. Maybe they just drifted apart. Suggest to your friend to maybe plan a special getaway weekend and then make her final decision. No phones, Electronics, anything. Just so they have to spend time together even if it is to reconnect.
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Post by McVooDoo on Sept 14, 2011 11:30:47 GMT -5
Stay out of it. Just because she files doesn't mean it happens over night. It may be the wakeup call he/she/they need to start putting forth real effort if they want to stay together. KWIM? You don't want to meddle. The messenger always gets shot.
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Post by Erin on Sept 14, 2011 11:40:16 GMT -5
Stay out of it.
One of my best friends is having a hardship with her husband. He's deployed right now, but she wants a divorce. I do not agree with it because I think the reasoning behind it isn't in rule for a divorce and that they can work passed it, butttttt, I just stay out of it. She tells me everything about their conversations about it and such, but I mostly just ask how she's doing and let her vent to me. Other than that, I stay out of it. It really does sadden me though.
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Post by mermaid on Sept 14, 2011 11:44:55 GMT -5
I probably will, I just hate knowing this. I have a strong sense of duty to him too. He physically saved my life twice in 2 different water accidents. 19 years & 22 years ago. I hope they get this worked out.
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Post by McVooDoo on Sept 14, 2011 11:46:12 GMT -5
Mermaid I know you must real rotten, but trust me...you telling him won't save the marriage but her threat of divorce may. That's assuming they even want to. Regardless of what happens, he'll still be your friend. =)
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