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Post by rummy1969 on Jun 15, 2012 17:04:48 GMT -5
We have a wonderful, smart and very talented son who is 16yrs old. Well today, at a red light, he blurts out, "I'm Gay." Was I surprised by the admission? No. Was I caught off guard at the unexpected outburst? Yes lol. Though I have had my suspicions for quite sometime now, actually hearing him say it out loud was shocking but not in a bad way. When he was 13 I came out and asked him if he was gay and told him that if he was that it was no big deal that me and his dad and brother would love and support him no matter what. Well at that time he told me no. When I asked him today why he didn't say anything to me back then he just said that he wasn't really ready to deal with all that it meant to admit he was gay. I guess he needed time to "find" himself and truly realize who he was...and he did. And he is awesome and we love him so much. I asked him a bunch of questions and stuff and he came back with very calm and mature responses. He told me not to worry that he wasn't one of those "flamboyant" gay guys lol, that he wouldn't be acting any differently than normal except that now he can talk to us about his love life whenever he gets one lol. Man, he is just such a great kid! My only concern, and I shared this with him, is that I'm worried about how society will treat him now, and as he goes through life. I would love to protect him from all of the ugliness that comes with being gay but I know that I can't, just like any other parent who wants to protect their kids from the crap this world spews out sometimes. For me, this will be my biggest challenge, oh, and eventually telling my religious mother and sister. That should be fun!!! NOT! Anyway, has anybody experienced this with their son or daughter? I have an aunt and a niece who are gay and never had an issue with them but being a parent is different. Any advice is welcomed...thanks guys for listening.
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Post by Maureen on Jun 15, 2012 21:23:39 GMT -5
I have no true advice for you as I haven't been through this but if you just let him know that no matter how certain people treat him, you will always be there to love and support that is a lot more than some other people do. At a certain age we have to let them go off into the world and go through all the trials we did.
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Post by kittypurry on Jun 15, 2012 21:38:08 GMT -5
I just wanted to say that I think you are awesome. My BIL is 19 and around 16 came out to his parents and my in laws cried and told him he was probably confused and too young to decide. He now tries to hide that he is gay, and its really sad.
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Post by Deb on Jun 16, 2012 10:47:09 GMT -5
I think you and your husband having such a great attitude about your child's orientation will go a long way with him dealing with less tolerant people.
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Post by Jodi on Jun 16, 2012 14:09:15 GMT -5
I think you are wonderful. I know some many kids growing up who did not get a good response from their families. You are doing all you can do. Love him, support him. You can't control what other idiots say to him, but you can always have his back.
It takes a very brave boy to come out so young, but he must have known that you would love him no matter what.
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Post by susie on Jun 17, 2012 7:19:35 GMT -5
I think the fact that your son was able to come out to you is awesome. It really shows that you have a good relationship with him. A few of my friends had trouble coming out to their parents.
I don't have any advice either, just let him know you're always there for him.
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Post by rummy1969 on Jun 17, 2012 8:35:42 GMT -5
Thank you all so much for the positive feed back!
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Post by gardenwitch on Jun 17, 2012 12:19:28 GMT -5
You know my youngest is gay, right? Just keep the door open. It will be hard to hear about that first relationship, but keep the same rules you would for any of the other kids dating relationships, Curfews etc. It's part of keeping things normal for them, even if it's a new normal.
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Post by rummy1969 on Jun 17, 2012 15:27:12 GMT -5
GW, it's funny that you said that because DH and were talking yesterday and that's a concern that he brought up for himself. He is not wanting major PDA when our son brings home a "friend". We didn't let our older son mack on his GF around us so our youngest will have the same rule as well lol. It's those little things that make you go hmmmm at moments like this right? How old is your son?
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Post by gardenwitch on Jun 17, 2012 22:08:11 GMT -5
It's my daughter, she's going to be 22 in August. That first gf, she was mad we wouldn't let them hang out in her room with the door shut, or spend the night at each other's houses. Her sisters jumped her with why should you get to? We didn't. After that she quit pushing that envelope and things settled down.
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Post by L4OT on Jul 2, 2012 9:00:39 GMT -5
Rummy, your son is a very lucky guy to have someone who understands and supports him. You and your husband are awesome If our kids ever tell us they are gay, they'll still be our babies. I can't imagine not ever loving them, especially over something like that. It's shameful that family would turn away from their kids
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